Let's talk body positivity

Photo credit: Positively PinUp Interviews 

PSA: This post that I am writing about all opinions are my own and how I feel about the situation.

This is a hard topic but I want to give my opinion on it.

If you have followed me for quite some time, you know that I have lost weight back in 2011-2012. I had lost about 50 pounds and I was really proud of my accomplishments. Now I did this solely for me not because I was never bullied about my weight (I got a comment once but didn't care) mostly on how I looked and that my clothes were 2nd hand. Yes believe it or not thrifting wasn't trendy back in the day to some where your clothes came from mattered.

Anyways, when I lost weight, I got "skinny shamed" when I'd go out to eat with friends because I would portion out my food they call me "Skinny bitch" other people would call me "Skinny Minnie" it really hurt my feelings.  But I was proud of what I had accomplished because I worked really hard to loose the weight and I did my first pinup shoot in honor of it. Part of the reason why I got into pinup was because of that shoot.

Me in 2014 

I was mid-sized which is the average size of most women. Which is size 12-14 and that was the size I was. I had gotten down to a size 12 my original jean size was in high school was 14. Heck I thought I was an "expert" on weight loss because I did it the right way (diet and exercise) I even stared a weight loss blog trying to inspire others, I followed weight loss and fit people on Instagram but I grew tired of the "gym selfies" the muscular no boob/ribs showing women. They would compete in figure/bikini competitions look freakish with over done tans, tiny bedazzled swimsuits looking scary AF, they we constantly eating but clean meals allow only 1 cheat day a week, drinking gallons of water (and peeing every 10 minutes), drinking protein shakes, pre-workout (tastes awful by the way), getting up at 4am to workout even working out twice or even 5 days a week! Yet I idolized them. So much so that it become unhealthy so I stopped following all of them (but two because they no longer compete)

I even after that decided that I needed to become a personal trainer so I went back to school for it but damn it really took a toll on me. Trying to balance going to full time in the beginning (I ended up sick) then going part time and working full time overnights. I developed anxiety real bad, eating bad, quit the gyms and would sleep on my days off.

I wound up failing my certification exam and haven't studied for it since.

What I learned:  Even though they are no longer my cup of tea fit people exist they can out push up/lift me any day and that's okay. They chose their life to live each day. But they are humans too. And not shouting at them to eat a cheeseburger.

Me June 2019 

I started to gained all the weight back and I am now at my heaviest. I started to follow plus sized/ mid sized babes on Instagram also reading their blogs or watching their You Tube videos. Embracing themselves unapologetically. They are wearing crop tops, bikinis, have belly button rings, pose nude, are pole dancers, do burlesque, break the rules that society has tried to force upon everyone and are f**king beautiful.

My eyes were open to a different world of women embracing themselves for who they are anybody type, any disability, any color of skin, the list goes on. That's why I got into pinup and the friends that I am with are so beautiful and diverse we accepted each other for who were are. We are all different but that's what makes us unique. When I entered the first Daisy Jones contest a plus sized pinup got crowned as Miss Daisy Jones Locker. She is an inspiration. Also Miss Viva Las Vegas last year was won by Fran Robertson who is an alternative pinup. I wrote about her win here

What I've learned:  Since gaining the weight, I've learned to embrace the skin I am in, wearing what I want (including wiggle dresses), still doing photo shoots, etc. Also that means trying to lift up my friends. We all are own worst critics so I was trying to post memes that promote body positivity because that's who I am trying to be and I want everyone to embrace who they are as women. The saying "Lifting each other up instead of bringing each other down"

Credit: Positively PinUp Interviews 

Because now more than ever there is much shaming not just fat shaming. Even in the LGBTQ community. There is increase suicides because of this. It's heartbreaking. Stating they shouldn't have been born, they should die, etc. Makes me sad. Not to mention some people have eating disorders both kinds because they straight up struggled to gain weight or even to lose it that they've spiraled into dark places (again not okay) so they've accepted their bodies for who they are.

Growing up, I was taught acceptance at an early age so it was hard when I went to school and was bullied for being different. I've struggled with accepting myself for who I am as a person because people used to make fun of me for being ugly. I was called a dog, even barked at also once time spit on because I was different. Popular kids would target me pretend to be my friend then humiliate me at my expense that is NOT OKAY. Neither is any kind of shaming for that matter.

What I have learned:  Those babes I follow on Social Media, are healthy and even workout. Some are even vegan/vegetarian I admire them for because hey that takes a lot of will power (something I lack ha). But truth remains they're not going to die of an heart attack because they are fat or have diabetes for that matter.

Last points:

Do I need to lose weight? Yes and no. Unless told by a doctor, I think it should be anyone's choice to diet and exercise. But I am not going to feel guilty about going to a pizza buffet or eating nachos because how I am going to look afterwards

Are there unflattering photos of me out there? Hell yes

Do I have insecurities? You better believe it.

Do get nervous about wearing certain clothes even bathing suits? Yes but I wear them anyways.

Bottom line: Love yourself and honor your curves.

I will be sharing some of my favorite curvy gals soon!!

To close, I want to share this Ted Talk that Virgie Tovar did back in 2017. I follow her on Instagram and she writes articles about being fat (even written books) I think it sums about body positivity perfectly:

Here's to embracing who we are!!


Miss Mag Nificent